My Big Valentine

I'm not complaining,
don't get me wrong -
'coz i' m used to it,
i'm just tired of hoping anymore ...

For no day is special to you -
and none calls for a celebration:
no birthdays, no cakes, no presents -
your life must surely be dull...

When it's Xmas i got you your T-shirts,
when it's the new year you got three pairs of shoes...
when it's valentine: a new lazy chair to replace the old,
and a 9-tiered cabinet, to put in your things...
when you were in hospital, i left a love note
and three little roses by your bed -
when i was there for an op:
i had to follow the hands of the clock -
visiting hours starts at four-thirty,
you arrived at six-forty, breathing alchohol,
looking at the clock on the wall - not at me
and left - after a fidgety ten minutes -
another group of friends waiting -
another round of drinks and merry making,
while i stared at the four gray walls around me...
i just couldn't take that: i had to lift the flood gates,
and let the tears flow free...
and envied the sweet lady in the opposite bed -
her hubby was there at 6.30 every morning,
(with his briefcase and in office clothes)
standing just outside the doorway -
to watch her as she slept...
but then there were roses in an XO bottle
when my sisters came to visit:
they brought the roses, you got the XO bottle.

But i know you love me -
in your own care-less way
but i wonder if you've ever wondered -
that all a lady needs is just a little tender loving care
and i wonder one day in the future
when you stand at my grave
will you ever remember
and will there ever be
a rose bud from the garden in your hand...?