Another milestone, another T-junction

As we traverse along the road of life -
we will stop a while to admire the beauty
of a wayward reed or a wild flower -
a bird, a bee, a beetle, or even two
they are all God's lovely creations -
they are all so lovely to me...

And there are times when we come
to a crossroad or a T-junction in life;
and have to decide which road to take -
times when we have to weigh our situation
and times when we have to make sacrifices -
or take a chance at what lies ahead of us...

At times like these, we must surely take a pause -
a longer break to just look around and ponder...
and then we must needs to really weigh each move -
and the consequences of our action, be it good or bad...
for we can't afford to go wrong, or make any blunder
as it may cause us to suffer, for the rest of our life...

Hence i would not do anything without much contemplation -
for i still want to be sure that the choice i make in life
is the right one, and that i'll never have to regret -
that i had chosen the wrong road, down which to travel...

The Simple Things in Life

I don't need castles made of marble -
a small wooden house would do for me...
i don't need to be at Beverly Hills -
but a house overlooking the sea and sunrise,
or a view of green hills and paddy fields -
that would also be paradise for me...

I don't need expensive holidays and posh hotels -
a simple place any where for a change will be welcome...
i don't fancy exotic meals in classy restaurants -
a simple meal of ulam and sambal belacan is delicious to me...
i don't need a chauffeur or a maid to run errands at my whims -
coz i'm a simple girl - and need not have someone at my beck and call...

I just want to have some time to look around -
some time to admire the beauty of nature waiting to be noticed...
some time to smell the pretty rose in the garden, or the wayward reed...
some time to watch the birds and the bees, the beetles and the ants...
some time to look at white clouds sailing in the sky, or raindrops on a leaf -
just give me some time to do all these little, little things in life...

For i can do without a lot of luxurious things in life -
but love is the only thing i hope to keep with me all my life...

It's gonna be a beautiful day

Yes, i've finally thought things out -
that i will strive to be happy every single day
that i will no longer over my troubles mope -
for life is so short, more so when one is fifty-eight...

So, dear friends, you'll never find me without my broadest smile -
ready to greet the day, each and every day of my life...
you'll never find me angry, or in tears, no, not anymore -
for i've learnt to be wise - to spend my last years being happy...
for time heals, and wounded hearts are also sealed -
so i'll be happy - even broken hearts will one day be whole again...

I've thought, and thought for so, so, long -
and have finally decided: i'll live life the way i love to...
i'll admire the sunrise, each and every day -
and walk barefoot on the beach, whenever there's a need to...
for life is so sweet, yet so short - it'll be over in a jiffy -
so i'll live life to the fullest today - for tomorrow may never be...

As my life on earth is numbered: i've finally reached that last quarter -
there is no turning back the clock, no time for regrets, or restarts...
i'm on my own, struggling to make the most of my time, and my life -
for it will be my last struggle, my last effort, to achieve whatever's lacking...

So, dear God, help me to strive on, without wavering -
this most difficult last effort, the last lap of my run...

Even The Moon Shies Away

Today i feel sad - for no particular reason -
i just feel sad, sometimes...
i just feel utterly bad, oft times...
just feel inapt to deal with my own feelings...

For i feel that i've let loved ones down -
by the things that i've done, and also not done...
by not being able to tell right, from wrong -
and being steadfast about what i feel is right, or wrong...

I've always been confident that i could tell -
what's right, and what's wrong...
but lately things have turned out to be different -
and i find it hard to go on trusting, and believing...

And when i looked through my window into the night sky -
all i could see was just the night sky:
no moon, no star; no love in my heart, no friend -
like trading the shiny kettle for a black pan...?
like running for the last hour, only to be told:
that one is on the wrong route, far from the end...?

Teaching Little Angels

Lately I've started counting the days -
'coz they are numbered...
and as each day draws a little nearer -
my heart feels elated, yet disappointed...

For i've been dealing with young angels -
trained to teach them the way of life...
taught myself to be more disciplined, as best i could -
that i may lead through example, as best i could...

I've enjoyed your young company -
and hope that you like mine, too...
i've laughed at your pranks, your jokes -
and tried to make you laugh at mine, too...

I've tried my best to keep my pledge -
to be both mother and friend,
not just your teacher, forever -
whenever you need help,
or someone to call 'friend' -
whenever you're sad, or sorry,
i'll be there, waiting to guide you -
waiting to hold your trusting hand...

I hope i'll never have to let you down -
and i do hope to be able to do much, much, more...
for your eager faces tell me you want to learn more -
much, much, more... each and every day that i see you...

I remember the moon

The moon - it reminds me of a place -
where young lovers come to spoon...
and if i'm not mistaken -
i could hear the nightingale singing
of a love gone by...
of a dream that passed her by...

Looking at the full moon -
is what all lovers do,
'coz that pale disc in the night sky -
is all that can be seen,
on starless nights like this -
as the lonely wolf howls out his mournful call...

Though tomorrow they will see a paler moon -
outshone by a smiling, shimmering, golden sun,
tonight they mourn the loss of a childhood dream -
and tomorrow it would lay buried in its deep grave,
like the shattered fragments of all broken dreams ...

I remember happy times like today

Today we played make believe -
just like children always do,
Queen E and i were cruising along in our Rolls Royce -
waving majestically to our loyal subjects...

Today we joked about life -
and what we would be doing if we had been thirty years younger!
today we joked about the days when we were green and innocent -
and oh, so, so gullible, were we then, so easy to please, too...!

Today we remembered old days -
and friends who were no longer with us, too...
and talked with nostalgia -
of the days gone by: happy ones and sad ones, too...

So today, is special, 'coz we forget
that we are in our twilight years -
but talked like children, of having fun,
and teasing each other was what we did, with glee...

For today is one of those fairy tale days -
of having fun, in a world of make believe...

Speak to me, not with words so clear

Do speak to me - for i love to hear you speak to me -
say what i wish to hear, not with your sweet words in my ear...
for there are times when words don't work anymore -
so speak to me - with your eyes, and your heart, so clear...

For you are the wind, that i cannot see -
but i'll know that you were here,
'coz you brushed against my cheek -
as you were passing by...

And i know you are still around -
when i see the leaves move and quiver,
and when i hear the gentle rustling among the trees...
i'll know that you are near...

So speak not in words that i can no longer hear -
for you are the wind that blows far and near...
speak not, but with your eyes and your heart, so clear -
and i'll know my invisible wind is here, and near...

Life's like that

Once in a while things seem to be different -
in a lovely kind of way...
and life seems to be so, so beautiful -
i can't believe that it could be true...
and Destiny seems to cast a smile -
no, i guess not - that can't be for me...

For life has always been a big strugggle -
and happiness that elusive dream...?
that if Destiny were to show me that smile -
i'll have to be wary, and most certainly wonder:
is it really, truly meant for me...?
is it mine or is it just a mirage in the desert...?

But i won't give up hoping and praying -
that one day, Destiny would really smile for me...!
i will not ever lose sight of my dream -
for they are all that i have - a beautiful dream...

It is the sea that i always see

When i feel blue - or when my heart wants to sing -
i'll be there where the air is crisp and fresh,
where tall palms wave their pretty fronds at me,
and swaying casuarinas, with arms that beckon to me...

When i need to think - about the happenings of the day -
or to muse over life, and how one's life is full of surprises,
when i need to nurse my wounds or think of a friend, or two -
that is where i'll be: walking barefoot on the beach...

So, whether it's all in the mind -
or whether i'm really leaving my footprints there,
it matters not to me:
for i still see everything clearly in my mind...

For i've always been there, when i was in trouble -
or when i was carefree and young...
So, why shouldn't i be there, in times of need -
be it when i was seventeen, or now that i'm fifty-seven...?

For it's the same sunrise and the same shimmers -
dancing and frolicking on the waves, so bright,
it's the same beautiful day -
with white clouds sailing calmly by...
it's the same empty seat -
and the same lonely echo,
of my lonely feet, i know -
that leaves a lonely pair of footsteps in the sand...

Today is yet another beautiful day

Today i saw the most beautiful of God's creations:
a beautiful sunrise, and a cloud with a golden lining!
but, alas, like that beautiful day at that beautiful lake -
i could not capture it for others - except for myself...

For God showed the moment of truth at a time when i am confused -
God is there to show me how beautiful life can really be...
and i am made to choose the right path - if there is one -
that i am supposed to take in whatever's left of my life...

I know - i've always been told -
that it is selfish to be self-centred;
i know that i know, deep down -
that whatever i have to do is not for me alone,
but for others - it has always been that way -
my life is not my own alone - it belongs to others, too...

So, i'll take life one day at a time -
and not torture others by being unkind...?
i'll fold my wings and perch on the quay, and just watch -
as the world goes by... and then fly home to my nest,
to take my rest - so others will worry not -
that i had strayed,
and been betrayed,
or beaten, by the storm that raged...

Today I lived

Today i lived - like any other day -
because friends are near at hand...

Today i smiled -
just like other days...
because the skies are blue,
and the birds are singing in the trees...
so it is easy to smile,
on a beautiful day like this...

But it is also easy to feel sad -
'coz behind each cloud is a rain cloud
and a beautiful day like this may not last -
soon the whole sky might be covered with dark clouds
and all too soon the sunshine may be gone -
and in its place, i'll see gray skies and a threatening sky...

And soon the first raindrops would fall -
over the meadows and the plains...
soon a storm would rage, full scale -
and "shake the darling buds of May"...
very soon all will be wet: the mountains, the hills,
the flowers, and the trees in the forest...

And i would be standing there, alone -
thinking of what Destiny has in store for me,
drinking in the fresh view of raindrops everywhere,
and feeling the calm air after the storm...

Running the last quarter

I've never been a runner -
though i've walked the mile
with others younger than me;

So, i've not been able to set the pace
or keep up with the runners -
much as i would like to, sometimes,

Anyway i'll try my best to keep pace-
for i would not want to be left behind
no, not this time, coz time is running out on us:
we have reached our last and final quarter:

the fourth and deciding quarter of our life -
with eight already dropped out of line...
the rest of us will plough on in their memory -
till we reach the finishing line,
holding each other's hand -
giving each other support,
to make it through that last quarter ...